A Swedish Lullaby

I. Events Preceding

When I was a very little boy

My mother would sing to me

A lovely Swedish lullaby

Before she had a pee.

That lovely little lullaby

Which my mother sang to me

Helped me in my studies

For a bachelor’s degree.

It went:

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lö-lö-lö-lö-lö-leelee

And now I sing this lullaby

To my little baby Björn;

Every night I sing it,

Staying up till dawn.

I sing:

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lö-lö-lö-lö-lö-leelee

But Björn suffers from insomnia,

He will not close his eyes

And go to sleep like normal boys,

No matter how hard I tries.

I took him to the doctor,

The doctor said, “What’s wrong?”

I told him and the doctor said,

“Let me hear this song.”

So I sang:

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lö-lö-lö-lö-lö-leelee

The doctor asked me slyly,

“Have you tried counting sheep?”

“En, två. tre,” I counted

And then I fell asleep.

I promised him an iPad,

I threatened him with a horse,

But Björn remained impervious

To nature’s second course.

II. The Upshot

Eventually, when he was ten,

He slept – in fits and starts –

But only if Matilda

Massaged his private parts

And only as long as I sang:

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lö-lö-lö-lö-lö-leelee

Now I’m old and Björn has grown

Into a mighty man

With children of his very own,

Jesper, Joel and Jan,

Whom he likes to take out sailing

On the wide Sargasso Sea,

Singing that same lullaby

My mother sang to me

And it goes:

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lölä-lölä, Lölä-lee,

Lå-lå-lå-lå, Lé-lé,

Lö-lö-lö-lö-lö-leelee.